it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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