God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
