I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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