been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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