I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
