the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
