That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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