is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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