bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
