And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize