I understand Curling. That high.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
