I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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