would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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