I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
