I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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