Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
