He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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