Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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