Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
