i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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