the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
