lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
