Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize