Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
