he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's never too late to be topless.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
