you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
