found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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