no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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