you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
