You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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