look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
