I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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