pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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