I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.