Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.

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(763): Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never. http://tfl.nu/0ie8

Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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(402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn

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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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(850): I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did. http://tfl.nu/zdnh

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(816): View more from Missouri

I miss Bob Barker.

(808): View more from Hawaii

Yeah, more like Douche Carey...

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(816): I miss Bob Barker. (808): Yeah, more like Douche Carey... http://tfl.nu/37q6

Replies (12) Good night (1537) Bad night (642)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Do you still like to have your hair pulled?

(713): View more from Texas

No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.

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(575): Do you still like to have your hair pulled? (713): No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused. http://tfl.nu/4p98

Replies (26) Good night (575) Bad night (3266)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.

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(610): I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date. http://tfl.nu/jj8c

Replies (50) Good night (907) Bad night (9672)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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(570): I was literally just a half conscious dildo. http://tfl.nu/oo11

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(519): View more from Ontario

My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.

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(519): My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/uf58

Replies (15) Good night (681) Bad night (3669) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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(215): The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand http://tfl.nu/qoyx

Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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(720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q

Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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(928): View more from Arizona

I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

(1-928): View more from Arizona

They dropped the charges?

(928): View more from Arizona

Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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(928): I deem it safe for us to drink together again. (1-928): They dropped the charges? (928): Yeppers. Come drink beers. http://tfl.nu/va29

Replies (8) Good night (2770) Bad night (555)
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(518): View more from New York

His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina

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(518): His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina http://tfl.nu/49ay

Replies (10) Good night (1130) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.

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(406): Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life. http://tfl.nu/9594

Replies (12) Good night (1079) Bad night (551)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?

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(250): He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me? http://tfl.nu/sqfj

Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (335)
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(785): View more from Kansas

They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea

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(785): They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea http://tfl.nu/7vrt

Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt

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