I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.