Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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