Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We had sex on a dog bed..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
