Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
