I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
