they need to just BURY HIM!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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