dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize