i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
