I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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