New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
