We're facebook friends in real life
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
