I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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