how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
