Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
