he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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