Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's Friday. Sex?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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