my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
do nipples grow back?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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