There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
