Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
