she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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