Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
