fuck your aforementioned shoe
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
