Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
