Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
