You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
