ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
