you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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