I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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