**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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