alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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