fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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