So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
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Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen