Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after