Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
