who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
