So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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