eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize