whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
